I'm having a fever and I only realize it when I finished my work. I called him before I go home but he did not answer, so went home to rest and I found that I had a miss call. Reply him his call and the same no answer but later I receive a msg he told me he went massage. Upon reading the msg it really make me feel uncomfortable, I dunno why, and worse is I break one of the glass while walking to the kitchen, does it trying to show a bad sign to me, I really dunno. I hate this feeling once again, I'm getting to regret , or can I say I'm not fit to have get into a relationship. I just need a little attention, a little care and concern but now all this are no longer being shown. You are tired I understand, you have alot of works to do I also understand, I choose not to give you problem, hardly sent you any msg nor call you alr. In the past 2 mths you used to called me, nv fail to be there for me showing ur care and concern however everything changed. NOT THE SAME! I dunno I'm being over or not but I just wanna speak up the feeling in me. Alot of pple told me u r a nice guy, you are this and that, I agreed but now I have no answer. Everything I do, you know, but everything you do I know nth. Since that is the case I cant control you and you cant control me, I will nv going to say every single things that happen , I will just keep quiet. If you dont trust me at all den I really cannot do anything. Caused I dunno have to trust you also.=(
Wasn't free to updated as I'm currently back to my old job. Everything is as usual and I really do miss this group of people=) Nth is happening in my working enviroment but in my relationship. I decided to give myself a chance to treasure , however I just find myself being very sensitive and insecure , I did not know why I'm feeling this way but I just do. I see him in front of me, but I just feel like we belong to a 2 different world, we are like stranger, I do love you as before but I just feel that ur feeling for me is just not as strong as the past. I know I'm really selfish not to put myself in your shoe, so now I'm letting you to do wadever things you wanted and not disturbing you nor even tag u any msg. I think this is the best way for you to focus in your work & your hobby. =)) and now I'm on my own to do things I liked ba. I have nth to say le. One thing I hoped now was not to dream of the same old nightmare again =((
okay let me refresh some of my memories back, what I have been doing.
Firstly after all the tears and all the shitty problems that happen, I finally came to a final decision that was letting everything go. I dont wish to keep it anymore and bring myself to further heart pain! Is not worth it, no point under someone control! This is not called LOVE! Is just that he wanted me and saying that he love me, I believe you in the past few mths but now I dont think so, I admit I cant bear to leave you but I know one day we will still brk up, there's lots of problem in between us which is beyond our control. This is wad I have to say.
Secondly, Happy birthday to my darling emi on dec 2. I really have a great time with you, I wont leave you alone le=)).hees. Oh ya ! sorry ger I din get ur anything for ur bdae will replace u a late present. I'm sorry . Hopefully ger you will feel better now le.
Thirdly, I finally get to meet bomber and darling after so long. I love the night hanging at the bak kuh teh shop, I love the feeling on the bike.hees. I want another outing on bike !!! haha...
Lastly, for me now I have to focus on myself more, no longer put others before me, and I have to put studies in front of all the things, work will came next =)) When I get my pay I want a TRIP!!!! I really want !!! and soon after that I'm going for an DSLR ya=) hees.
K la.got to stop here le. working tomorrow =) nites
have not been updating my blog for very long alr so now I'm updating it=) . Finally semester 1 is done everything is fine now, managed to pull though the whole assignment week. Now waiting for my jobs to come and enjoy my lovely christmas with frens & relatives. I got to earn more cash for my expenses.hmmm... having a tuff time now, everything need money, I couldn't enjoy without money most of the day i'm staying at homw doing homechores. I dun like the feeling of staying at home, I do enjoy working, maybe i'm getting to become a workaholic little girl. Decided to get a board to paint at home 2ml=)) finally have the time to do something I like ya. & i'm thinking what i should do for my little special girl on the special day at dec =)) got to think hard now. nth much to updated le=)) stop here for today.
currently alone at the counter, nothing much to do so decided to updated my blog.
Just went to HR office to get our letter mail, then headed to mdm office to chit chat with her, she was so busy with her work so me and jess can only sit there and look at what she's doing. Later, mdm's boss came in to look for her and we chit chat together. Can't remember what we have say to come into transfering conversation, but I'm so happy with wad he say, that is he could transfer me and jess to his dept to work under him but jess told him I'm starting school soon so he like " oh....is a waste den I cant transfer you here alr." I was so suprized that I'm able to get into human resource side, but now the chance is goned as I'm going back to school=(( So now the situation I'm havng was, should I continued my studies or continued working in another dept. Kind of stress up now, I'm so afraid that if i lose this chance, there wont be a better one appearing again. As everyone know NTUC is a big company like we say " tie fan wan", but still I cant make up any decision.
I'm not a workaholic person, I do wanna enjoy life like normal young teens do, I do wanna go for nightlife if I really can, I do wanna go out enjoying myself, shopping around with friends like I wanted most , however I can't. I'm not being brought up this way! I'm not being taught to enjoy without hardwork! I'm always being controlled but I have no regrets, all this years I have been working hard for more allowance just becos I don wanna be poor, just becos I wan to reduced the debts in my family. & Friends around me always say that I don't give myself a break, whenever there's holidaes or any weekend available, I will go work den hanging round with them, I know my rejection may cause upset to my frens but I cant do anything to it. Anyway I'm not as rich as u think.
But If I'm not working and money is coming into my pocket everyday,i dont mind ending my job. If this is realistic enough. But I know it will nv happened, I know myself well that if I stop working I won't be able to fill my tummy, if i'm not working, many things cannot be work out. That's why. Recently, I have been looking for full time job that provided sponsoring in studies and many things more, I even have this tot of quitting lasalle and go for part time studies, lots of things for me to think about. I try to stay clam as much as possible, and not telling any of my friends what I have been doing is becos this kind of personal problem no one can helped out and even if you tell them you are facing with this kind of problems, they cant do anything, why? different families have their own difficulties, not everyone faced the same situation as you, so some may not understand.
I'm sorry if I left out some of my friends whenever they need me around, I just couldn't stop wad I'm doing. Work is impt to me. I'm sorry.....
thank dad for your love and concern. thanks a million. with Love.
I'm having a fever and I only realize it when I finished my work. I called him before I go home but he did not answer, so went home to rest and I found that I had a miss call. Reply him his call and the same no answer but later I receive a msg he told me he went massage. Upon reading the msg it really make me feel uncomfortable, I dunno why, and worse is I break one of the glass while walking to the kitchen, does it trying to show a bad sign to me, I really dunno. I hate this feeling once again, I'm getting to regret , or can I say I'm not fit to have get into a relationship. I just need a little attention, a little care and concern but now all this are no longer being shown. You are tired I understand, you have alot of works to do I also understand, I choose not to give you problem, hardly sent you any msg nor call you alr. In the past 2 mths you used to called me, nv fail to be there for me showing ur care and concern however everything changed. NOT THE SAME! I dunno I'm being over or not but I just wanna speak up the feeling in me. Alot of pple told me u r a nice guy, you are this and that, I agreed but now I have no answer. Everything I do, you know, but everything you do I know nth. Since that is the case I cant control you and you cant control me, I will nv going to say every single things that happen , I will just keep quiet. If you dont trust me at all den I really cannot do anything. Caused I dunno have to trust you also.=(
Wasn't free to updated as I'm currently back to my old job. Everything is as usual and I really do miss this group of people=) Nth is happening in my working enviroment but in my relationship. I decided to give myself a chance to treasure , however I just find myself being very sensitive and insecure , I did not know why I'm feeling this way but I just do. I see him in front of me, but I just feel like we belong to a 2 different world, we are like stranger, I do love you as before but I just feel that ur feeling for me is just not as strong as the past. I know I'm really selfish not to put myself in your shoe, so now I'm letting you to do wadever things you wanted and not disturbing you nor even tag u any msg. I think this is the best way for you to focus in your work & your hobby. =)) and now I'm on my own to do things I liked ba. I have nth to say le. One thing I hoped now was not to dream of the same old nightmare again =((
okay let me refresh some of my memories back, what I have been doing.
Firstly after all the tears and all the shitty problems that happen, I finally came to a final decision that was letting everything go. I dont wish to keep it anymore and bring myself to further heart pain! Is not worth it, no point under someone control! This is not called LOVE! Is just that he wanted me and saying that he love me, I believe you in the past few mths but now I dont think so, I admit I cant bear to leave you but I know one day we will still brk up, there's lots of problem in between us which is beyond our control. This is wad I have to say.
Secondly, Happy birthday to my darling emi on dec 2. I really have a great time with you, I wont leave you alone le=)).hees. Oh ya ! sorry ger I din get ur anything for ur bdae will replace u a late present. I'm sorry . Hopefully ger you will feel better now le.
Thirdly, I finally get to meet bomber and darling after so long. I love the night hanging at the bak kuh teh shop, I love the feeling on the bike.hees. I want another outing on bike !!! haha...
Lastly, for me now I have to focus on myself more, no longer put others before me, and I have to put studies in front of all the things, work will came next =)) When I get my pay I want a TRIP!!!! I really want !!! and soon after that I'm going for an DSLR ya=) hees.
K la.got to stop here le. working tomorrow =) nites
have not been updating my blog for very long alr so now I'm updating it=) . Finally semester 1 is done everything is fine now, managed to pull though the whole assignment week. Now waiting for my jobs to come and enjoy my lovely christmas with frens & relatives. I got to earn more cash for my expenses.hmmm... having a tuff time now, everything need money, I couldn't enjoy without money most of the day i'm staying at homw doing homechores. I dun like the feeling of staying at home, I do enjoy working, maybe i'm getting to become a workaholic little girl. Decided to get a board to paint at home 2ml=)) finally have the time to do something I like ya. & i'm thinking what i should do for my little special girl on the special day at dec =)) got to think hard now. nth much to updated le=)) stop here for today.
currently alone at the counter, nothing much to do so decided to updated my blog.
Just went to HR office to get our letter mail, then headed to mdm office to chit chat with her, she was so busy with her work so me and jess can only sit there and look at what she's doing. Later, mdm's boss came in to look for her and we chit chat together. Can't remember what we have say to come into transfering conversation, but I'm so happy with wad he say, that is he could transfer me and jess to his dept to work under him but jess told him I'm starting school soon so he like " oh....is a waste den I cant transfer you here alr." I was so suprized that I'm able to get into human resource side, but now the chance is goned as I'm going back to school=(( So now the situation I'm havng was, should I continued my studies or continued working in another dept. Kind of stress up now, I'm so afraid that if i lose this chance, there wont be a better one appearing again. As everyone know NTUC is a big company like we say " tie fan wan", but still I cant make up any decision.
I'm not a workaholic person, I do wanna enjoy life like normal young teens do, I do wanna go for nightlife if I really can, I do wanna go out enjoying myself, shopping around with friends like I wanted most , however I can't. I'm not being brought up this way! I'm not being taught to enjoy without hardwork! I'm always being controlled but I have no regrets, all this years I have been working hard for more allowance just becos I don wanna be poor, just becos I wan to reduced the debts in my family. & Friends around me always say that I don't give myself a break, whenever there's holidaes or any weekend available, I will go work den hanging round with them, I know my rejection may cause upset to my frens but I cant do anything to it. Anyway I'm not as rich as u think.
But If I'm not working and money is coming into my pocket everyday,i dont mind ending my job. If this is realistic enough. But I know it will nv happened, I know myself well that if I stop working I won't be able to fill my tummy, if i'm not working, many things cannot be work out. That's why. Recently, I have been looking for full time job that provided sponsoring in studies and many things more, I even have this tot of quitting lasalle and go for part time studies, lots of things for me to think about. I try to stay clam as much as possible, and not telling any of my friends what I have been doing is becos this kind of personal problem no one can helped out and even if you tell them you are facing with this kind of problems, they cant do anything, why? different families have their own difficulties, not everyone faced the same situation as you, so some may not understand.
I'm sorry if I left out some of my friends whenever they need me around, I just couldn't stop wad I'm doing. Work is impt to me. I'm sorry.....
thank dad for your love and concern. thanks a million. with Love.
